After the eruption of the life-threatening pandemic COVID-19, life is not the same anymore. However, with the exponential growth of digital communication platforms, there has been a shift from traditional offices to virtual offices for companies who now use these platforms to conduct meetings and conferences.
The pandemic has also greatly affected community and religious practices, with the traditional attendance of Mass now being shifted to participating in online Masses and other prayer services. Never before our lives were affected so drastically. The power, position, privileges and paisa have failed before the situation. And the truth is out that the tiny virus has brought down the pride of the rich and strong to the level of every other human being. This virus does not differentiate between ages, religion, race, colour, nationality and gender. It affects each and every one.
The lockdown was one of the first reactions to fight the virus. It affected our social and professional life. All most all the countries implemented it as soon as it began to affect them. It resulted in confining us to the four walls of our homes. Many have written on the impact of lockdown on society. We will not discuss the negative impact as we see them in the news and on social networking sites. The messages of the positive impact rarely appear on social networking sites. We have hardly seen positive news in the newspaper but to name a few; wild animals are seen roaming on the streets in the cities, nature is getting healed, the rivers are becoming clean, metropolitan cities are enveloped in the fresh air, the crimes such as robberies, molestations, murders have drastically reduced, the death rate to has reduced, problems related to indigestion have reduced because people are forced to eat home-cooked and healthy food, etc.
There is yet another benefit we have received among many other things. While attending the National Conference of regional secretaries/directors, Archbishop Sebastian Kallupura, the chairman of the National Commission for Families and the Co-adjutor Bishop of Archdiocese of Patna said that the families are beneficiary in the lockdown when they were forced to remain at home. They had a chance to spend time with their loved ones. This is one of the blessings during the lockdown. Someone has rightly said, “No amount of money and success can take the place of time spent with your family.”
The world before COVID 19 was fast and furious. It was running after money. It was busy in investments. It did not have time for families. Parents found themselves in a ‘daily grind’ as they got up, went to work, only to reach home late at night. They had no time for their children. The spouses did not have time for themselves. Family time was pushed in the corner. It was reduced to a meagre annual outing. The family had become a matter of convenience. It was no more a priority. We did not find pleasure in spending time with our families. We spent hours and hours on our mobile phones because we could easily switch between our work and entertainment. We forgot that we are born in families and they nourish our lives; and someday, we will also die in our families. Actor Michael Fox says, “The family is not an important thing. It is everything.” But we failed to realize it. We proudly say that time is money. We invested all our time in earning it but failed to invest our time in our family. This pandemic has paved the way for us to realize the importance of spending time in our families.
Family Time is Important:
It builds relationships: Someone has rightly said, “Quality of life is dependent on the quality of relationships.” The more time we spend with our families, spouses and children, the more it helps to better our relationships. It clears misunderstanding and conflicts. The differences are accepted as we accept the persons. There is a happy environment in the home. The children relate with their parents. There is no communication gap. Every family member feels the longing to return to home because they find happiness in their personal life at home.
It boosts parenting: Each one of us is busy in the world to make our livelihood. Every parent wants to secure their families by working hard. In the pursuit of success and money, parents do not have proper time for their children, and the children find themselves lonely. They seek support from their friends. Thus, their friends become a priority in their lives. One mother shared that her daughter chose to stay with her girl-friend during the lockdown. She was hurt with her daughter for staying away from her but she failed to realize that she was working all through the years. The lockdown had forced her to stay at home. I told her to focus on spending time with her daughter in all possible ways to reassure her that she loves her. Parenting does not mean we need to give them lessons and talks but rather it means to spend time with our children. This is the best thing that any parent can do for their children. Choose anything that the children like and do it as a family. Children like their parents spending time together. They respect them. They grow up into well balanced and healthy individuals. These children will be open to their parents. They will not hide any problems, difficulties, bullying, etc. Since they share their problems, they will find solutions to their problems at the right time. I often tell parents when they ask me for parenting skills to spend maximum time with their children even though they are grown up.
It brings healing: In one of the family sharing, during the lockdown, a family shared with me that two family members were not talking to each other for many months. It so happened that these two members remained in the house and the rest of them had gone to the neighbouring district for a wedding. They were locked down for many days. During that time, healing evolved and they resolved their misunderstandings.
Relationships get strained when communications stop with each other. After fights, we often avoid people with whom we are in conflict. It further creates a devoid in the relationship. Spending time together in the family gives confidence to the person and they experience forgiveness. At the same time, if any member of the family has experienced an unpleasant incident then the family becomes a channel of healing. The person feels that they are not alone. It creates a sense of security. The family time helps the person to release his or her tension by talking to family members. It further helps the person to reconcile or know the problem objectively. Spending time with the family during a conflict situation either within the family or outside the family is always helpful to the person.
It brings learning: Spending time in the family is also significant because it helps in the process of human development. It not only helps a person in developing relationships but also it teaches great lessons for life. The parents are able to instill family values, ancestral traditions in their children. The children learn from their parents the dynamics of family management. Most of our children get married. Their parents become the guide for them. As a director of the family apostolate in the diocese, I draw a lot of inspiration from my parents. Their family life has become a living example for me. In some cases, children become the teacher for the parents. Blessed Carlo Acustis from Italy whose life was highlighted in Sangati became the guiding force for his parents. They were not religious, but young Carlo inspired them. I read a news item that said Actor Hritik Roshan was learning music from his child, during the lockdown. Spending time with our family could bring a lot of learning to each other.
Plan Your Family Time:
There could be many more benefits of spending time together in the family but I restricted myself to four of them. However, I wish to share with you yet another thought i.e. every family should have an action plan. Our thoughts should be put into practice. We need to be aware of spending time with our family should be an important priority. It should not mean to say that one does it for the sake of doing it. Family time should be quality time. All the members of the family must keep aside their work and devout time to their families. The gadgets and mobile should be kept aside. At the same time, it should not also disturb the routine work such as learning/studies, bedtime, prayer time, official work or business activities. Therefore, it should be planned properly with the consultation among the family members. The experts say that it should be at least forty-five minutes to one hour every day and four to five hours during the weekend.
The Activities During Family Time:
We can plan many activities during family time. One thing that needs to be always kept in mind that there should active participation from all the members. Every member should get an equal opportunity to share or participate in the activity. Passive participation will not help the person to grow in the family. For example, watching a movie on the television or in the theatre could be a family activity but it will not help the family to come together unless they discuss the subject matter of the movie or share their views on the movie. This could be the case in all the activities. Therefore, every activity should be planned in such a way that the interest of all the family members are kept and the objectives of the family time are achieved. To name a few family activities; have family meals together, celebrate family occasions such as birthdays, anniversaries, religious festivals, etc together, visit a place of worship together, pray together, go for a walk together, play together (indoor or outdoor games), visit your children’s friends, cook together, cleaning or gardening should be done together, learn new hobbies together, go for excursion/picnic/outing, etc. whatever may be the activity see that the objectives of the activity are achieved. The parents should always evaluate the activities among themselves. It would help them to improve their activities day-by-day.
Conclusion:
Spending time with the family is one of the best activities. It gives the greatest pleasure to individual members of the family. The lockdown due to COVID 19 has forced us to be indoors. It gave us ample of time to reconnect with our families. Family time is one of the blessings in the trying moments. It has built our relationships, allowed parents to be with their children so that they could learn from one another. It has also brought healing in family brokenness. Let us count on these blessings as we are stepping out of our homes to resume our work. We have invested enough time in our family during the lockdown, it will soon produce fruits in days to come. We need to realize the importance of family time as something more precious than money. We need to invest our time in the family in order to have a better future where is no need to be forced to remain with our families. Stay safe! Stay home!
