Every organization needs a leader and a leader provides direction to the organization to achieve its goal. Every successful organization requires good leadership. What is an organization? It is a social arrangement that pursues collective goals or it is an organized group of people with a particular purpose. We all know that an organization excels with the vision of a leader.
Similarly, a family is one of the most important and basic organizations in the world. No one in the world can replace family with any other institution or organization. The World Family Organization (WFO) and the Church have repeatedly stressed that family is the basic unit of society. If a family is the basic cell of the society and the most important organization in the world then it also requires a leader to achieve its goal. What are the goals of a family? A family has been entrusted huge responsibility to transmit human life and inculcate in them human values. The family develops an individual into a responsible and self-reliant person. Every person grows in this conducive atmosphere. This responsibility falls mainly on the parents and it is indispensable. One cannot escape from it. If the parents fail in it, the whole society will crumble down.
In normal circumstances, parents know their duties towards their children. However, the present situation makes it more difficult for parents to fulfil their duties in effective ways. The challenges of the present are far more varied than the earlier times with the excessive use of means of social communication, explosion of information through media, change of value systems, the freedom of expression, increase of competitiveness at every stage, single parenthood, financial difficulties, etc. This has led to parent-children conflicts. The parents and children live under tremendous pressure. Although they stay under the same roof they find no time for dialogue that would resolve their conflicts amicably. They often blame each other and the family relationships turn sour. The confused and distressed parents look for some solution and guidance. The common approach to this problem is to send their children to priests or nuns or to a professional counsellor so that they would be able to correct their children. The effects of counselling do not last long because the family environment remains the same. And the problem continues to persist.
Many charitable movements and organizations who work for the wellbeing of families have assessed family problems and developed a module to train parents. The best possible way to work in these situations is to train the parents to be a leader. If the parents become effective and efficient leaders in their respective families then they will inspire their children to be good citizens and responsible persons. History shows that legendary figures such as Thomas Edison, Pablo Piccaso, Michael Jordon, A.P.J. Kalam, etc. have been inspired by their parents. What about Jesus? Did his parents influence him to be what he is to us today?
Families can achieve their goals and objectives if the parents learn to be effective and efficient leaders to their children in the family. There are many ways in which the parents can overcome their parenting problems but I shall propose five tips that revolve around the leadership role of the parents. They are as follows:
Positive Communication:
Communication is the most important factor that builds the family. A good leader has the ability to convey a message with clarity. Parents must have good communication skills. They must use positive communication skills. They should avoid yelling, scolding (especially in front of the others), using foul language, etc. Children get irritated and demotivated with parents who often yell or scold them. It also creates negative effects on their minds. A good parent-leader must pause and think about the questions and choices that he would offer to his child. The children learn in this way to be more responsible.
Practice What You Preach:
Every successful organization has a set of rules. The rules help the organization to achieve its goals. A good leader follows the rules before he asks others to follow. E.g. He comes to the office before his co-workers. His co-workers learn from his action and arrive before time. In the same way, every successful family follows the rules but above all, a successful parent-leader lives by family rules. A good parent-leader will tell their children that ‘We will come home in time’ instead of ‘You will come home in time’. If parents are at home in time, they can inspire their children by practising what they preach.
Keep Your Fights and Differences Away From the Children:
A good leader does not make contradictory statements because it results in confusion. It harms the organization. It is God’s plan that the family is made up of father and mother. They have two different natures and world-views yet they are called for one specific goal i.e. to raise their children together. They are bound to have differences in opinion. However, when parents fight in the presence of their children, the children grow in anxiety because the fight threatens their secure home environment. The children do not learn healthy negotiation skills. Eventually, they do not respond to their parents’ advice. A good parent-leader will avoid even raising their voice in front of his children. I do not mean here to put on a mask of sainthood but learn to avoid constant fights in front of your children.
Have A Balanced Family Life:
Working parents is a common phenomenon of today’s society. The parents are either busy working in the fields or offices. If you ask them for what are they busy with? and Why? Their answer will be that they working for their children but do they have time for them? The children feel the absence of their parents at a crucial time in their life. Children appreciate and feel good when they see their parents spending time together. Children like if their parents accompany them to the garden, parks, movie theatres, etc. A good leader takes time out for his co-workers. It helps him to know the state of his subjects, their problems, worries, etc. A good parent-leader should also spend good quality time in the family. The closeness in the marital relationship and the family life will never allow children to see others as their role – models.
Be Humble and Forgiving:
A good leader has numerous qualities such as knowledge, courage, confidence, decisiveness, etc. All these qualities are important but humility and forgiveness surpass all. A leader who is humble and forgiving will not have many worries in his life. Who can teach us to be humble and forgiving but our Lord Jesus? He was born in humility and died while forgiving us on the cross. When the parents turn to God and seek his blessings in all that they do, they display their humility, in other words, putting their faith in God before the children. They show that they are humans and need the grace of God to nurture their families. There are neither perfect fathers or perfect mothers nor there are the perfect family. Thus, they show their dependence on God in whom we find all perfection. The children learn to seek perfection in the Lord while learning to be humble. It helps them to face difficulties in their lives. They learn that God forgives our wrongdoings and teaches us to forgive. A true parent-leader professes his/her faith in God, must also be a humble and forgiving person in his/her own family.
Conclusion:
Today, there is a need to create awareness in society that the families are the basic unit of the society and the most important organization of the world. We cannot replace it with any other organization. The care and protection of this organization are given in the hands of the parents. Parents are called to be leaders in the family. In this hilarious task, parents must not only look at the children but also introspect in their lives and ask themselves; are they giving proper witness to their children? Are they inspiring their children to do great things and inspire others? Remember! Parents are the first leaders-heroes of their children. There cannot be anyone else. So be a parent-leader and inspire your children. You will not have worries about the challenges of parenting.
